omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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