my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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