? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
