$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
