I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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