the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
