dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
