Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
