SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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