Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
