I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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