roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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