yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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