stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize