i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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