Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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