i can't believe i had my finger in that
I need to stop coming to work sober
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
