I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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