when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize