Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
