Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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