my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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