wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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