don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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