Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
