If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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