And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
