If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
