JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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