She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
