Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
