absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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