Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
