I think I am morally bankrupt
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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