I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
