Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
