It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
