You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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