I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
