wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
