she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize