dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
