On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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