Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
