We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
