i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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