i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
