Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize