My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize