I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
