nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
