I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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