I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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