this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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