Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
