I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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