I will die if light touches me.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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