I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
