"it" just moved
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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