I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize