is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
