Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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