just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
