11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he wants to bone in the snuggie
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
