We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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