I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
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Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
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I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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