i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
